Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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