This dress was meant to end up on your floor
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
