If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
