i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
