So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Houston, we have a blender
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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