that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i just google imaged poop.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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