Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?

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(906): View more from Michigan

I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"

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(503): View more from Oregon

I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME

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(775): View more from Nevada

you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons

(702): View more from Nevada

Does that work!! Please say yes

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(540): View more from Virginia

I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...

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(727): View more from Florida

Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me

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