No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
