Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
