saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
