babies were throwing up all over the place
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
