apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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