yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize