I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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