I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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