The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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