Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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