I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
