I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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