it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
is it fun? or sober?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
