im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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