I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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