Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If I die, sorry about rent.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
