He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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