Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize