honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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