do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
