I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
