Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Randomize
