Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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