I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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