remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
