Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Green mimosas i think yes
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
