i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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