whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize