I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you guys were way drunker than both of me
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
