that's an acceptable place to lick
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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