he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize