You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
