Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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