drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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