The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
