I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i think my tv is drunk
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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