im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
