Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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