whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
high people should be assigned attendants
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize