I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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