**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
