i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
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