Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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