After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He? As in you personified your dick?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize