you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
