Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
