All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
