Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I look better un-naked...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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