Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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