Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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