i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
