At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
