I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize