8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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