and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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