he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
