Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
