that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
