If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Gay?
German.
Pity.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
