I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize