Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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