If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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