fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
