You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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