Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
