true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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