I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
