I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Randomize
