How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
