there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
