What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
