I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
