it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
