It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
