yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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