'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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