dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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