Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
