my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
